Nerdfighteria Listen up.

http://www.thenerdfighterconnection.com/post/2332557582/contest-time-as-our-way-of-saying-thanks-for

I Fucking hate my job.

I hate my job so much. I'm so sick of our assistant manager only being able to work one damn day a weekend for her 'mental health' such a bitch. I'M working the whole fucking weekend. I wish I had a job I love. I miss the Disney Store so bad, I mean I LOVED working there like no ones business. But this job? I feel like I'm being taken advantage of to a point. I mean I wanted off Saturday so I could go to Rocky Horror live, mentioned this 2 weeks ago. Well guess who's working Sunday? ME. I also said that if no one could work Saturday I'd work it, but I'd like to get Sunday off. Who's working Sunday? THIS GIRL. I only have Monday off because I asked for it. I would probably have had Saturday off if our manager wasn't leaving because of the assistant manager. But why didn't she fire said assistant manager? Because they're FRIENDS. Lemme tell you our assistant manager's availability. SUNDAY: can only work if didn't work Saturday. MONDAY: 7.30-9.30 TUESDAY: 5.30-9.30 and so on until Friday. SATURDAY: can only work if she's off Sunday. And her excuse. "I can still work Saturday or Sunday I just need one day off for my mental health." IF YOU NEED DAYS OFF FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH THAN GO TO A HOSPITAL.

I need a new job, I'd like an office job-or anything outta retail. I know people spend their whole lives in retail, and I've only been working it for a year I mean this has taken such a toll on me. I just want to break down and cry. Cry like a little baby. And I'm listening/watching The Happening, I'm laughing. It's such a bad movie, where the hell did the army guy get so many bullets? It's like he's got a bazillion, and he was only carrying the handgun. It didn't look like he had any extra ammo or anything. YOU GUYS SHOULD KEEP FUCKING WALKING THEN FIND A HOUSE AND HIDE IN IT LIKE THE FUCKING ZOMBIES ARE GOING AFTER YOU. OR BETTER IDEA ALL GO OFF AS ONE AND FOLLOW ONE ANOTHER FROM A VERY FAR DISTANCE AND FIND THE SAME DAMN HOUSE AND DON'T GO OUTSIDE. YOU DUMB SHITS. FUCKING SHAMALAMADINGDONG and his 'OH I THINK I CAN WRITE HORROR MOVIES' MENTALITY. NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T YOU CAN'T DIRECT EITHER------ NO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE JUST SHIT. AT LIKE EVERYTHING RELATING TO MOVIES.

Thursday. April Fool's DAy

I'm in a child psych class and what do you think we'd be covering in class? Psychology related stuff, to be more specific child stuff....but no. I can't even begin to start thinking about what we're covering. I so can't stand this class. It's not even funny how much I can't stand this class. We barely cover anything on time. And the woman who sits in front of me....I want to punch her in the face so badly. She opens her mouth on every damn topic, who really wants to know every last thing she thinks, it's like she has no filter from her brain to her mouth. No one cares about her personal life and all the 'plotting' she wants to do in her bed. It's not a class topic, I'm not paying to hear you open your mouth and speak nonsensical shit. It's not fair to anyone in the class whether you want to know about her personal life. I don't I'm not paying for your life story woman so shut the fucking hell up.

Excuse my rant. I apologize a bit, I really needed to get that off my chest. Hopefully now I'll be a bit more calm in class. I only have a couple more classes left, 8 I think that makes it 4 more weeks. I'm too excited for words about this class being over. I can't really tell you much of anything I've learned over the semester in this class. It's just crazy. And the sad thing is that it's not a joke. I love school, but I can't stand this class. I really wish I could. Psychology is one of the fields I want to go in to. But this class is giving me second thoughts. Hopefully it's just the class, which I think it is, but this class is making me hate the whole science.

I enjoy CALCULUS more, get that? Calculus. And that math drives me up the wall crazy because it's just so hard for me to wrap my brain around the concept of that math. But I'd almost rather be in there twice a day tuesday/thursday. Except in that class-no laptop, but at least I feel like a learn some. And I'm not always checking the clock in that class either, but in Psych, I'm checking it soooo often sometimes I'm sure time just freezes. It's that bad.

On a different note, I'm going to work again tonight. I really miss Disney. Gymboree isn't bad, I just don't know what I'm doing there. It's only my second job- but I would have thought some of Disney's training stayed with me. Maybe it's because I'm scared of failing. I'm absolutely terrified of failing at my job. It scares me so much. I won't really tell anyone that but it does. I'm always terrified of failing. I'm terrified that I'm annoying someone and they can't stand me. And I won't do anything about it because I'm so passive about confrontation I hate making people feel awkward, or guilty because that makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I put on such an act around people to be liked, and around others I can't even be me once I've gotten to know them for a couple of months, maybe even years. It drives me batty and I can pretty much guarantee that it's messing up my mental health.

Apologies and Such

So, I know it's been months since I last posted something and if I thought that anyone read this thing I'd feel sorry, but since no one does....the apology is more for me. And my letting myself down for not keeping the promise I made to myself. Because in the past couple of months BIG things have happened. First of all I got a job, then I lost my job because our store closed. I worked at a Disney Store; and who'd have thought that as soon as 20 odd stores closed in the States Disney would buy back all 300 some stores in Japan. Thanks Disney, thanks.
Another thing is I'm in my final semester at the local community college and I'm graduating in May. That's the good part. The bad part is that because I lost my job I no longer have a way to pay for a four year school. And I may not be the only one in my house who'll be let go from work. My Dad may loose his job too. And if that happens the only bright side is that I'll be getting financial aid. The bad thing is that I'd have to be working full-time to help support the family so no college for me. I know that tons of people out there have it ten times worse than I do, but with that conversation with my Mom last night destroyed my whole life plan. Graduate from community college, transfer to a four year school straight away, go to graduate school then become a psychologist or do something involving history. Then fall in love, get married and after a good amount of time have kids.
But now all I can think about is how because my Dad's always been so overweight, I've lost my childhood. It was stolen from me. I've always had to be mature and help out. Being the oldest I get that I need to help with my two younger sisters, but now that my Dad can't do anything by himself and I mean anything. I have to be a parent. I'm home the most out of anyone in my family, I see my sisters the most. I hardly see my parents anymore because they're always driving to and from work. I know they can't help working an hour away from home, but sometimes I wish that I could know that it's all going to work out in the end, that I know that everything will turn out alright. But I just can't see that happening, I can't play out any scenario in my head that will justify the loss of my youth, or anything like that.
I'd love to say that I don't blame my parents for that, but some blame does lie with them, I don't know how much blame can be placed on their shoulders, I know it can't be all... but I just wonder how my life could be different. Moral of this- it's not good to linger on such thoughts, it breeds anger and dissatisfaction, more of both I couldn't handle.

I can't think of much else to add...other than Happy Belated New Year.
Recently played on my Mp3 player- A Very Potter Musical. I discovered them on YouTube it's AMAZING. I can't even put into words how much I love the StarKid Potter group. But tata for now, maybe I'll get another update before June. ;D

Wiis and fun

Yesterday my family just got a Wii, now in the beginning I was quite opposed to getting a Wii, it being expensive and all; but what REALLY changed my mind was the new Harry Potter game, I saw commercials for it and I just HAD to have it, Wii or not. Thankfully Mom had already decided to get said Wii so all I had to do was plead to get the new HP game, I had the foresight to previously mention the game and it's being bought in comparison with buying the Wii, and whadda ya know I got my new game the same day as the Wii. I played HP for a good two hours over the course of the day, interchanging it with Wii Sports(fun and entertaining) and Mario Party 8, not as fun as Mario Kart, but I figure it's because we're not quite sure how to use it just yet. Hooking up was not as stressful as I was lead to believe but the hooking up itself lead to quite a few problems, mostly between my youngest sister and I, over why she can't play HP before I and why she has to vacuum, because we weren't about to play Wii barefoot on a dirty floor, and I'm of the fire belief that if someone doesn't know how to vacuum they should learn by experience before setting off on their own, which was indeed her plan and time to learn how to vacuum. Stupid I know, but not much can be said for fourteen year olds with the attitude that they believe they are the most important person in the world and everything they say or do is the highlight of everyone's life. Now some of us might have had this kind of attitude, but being the oldest I'd like to believe that I never acted this way; I guess I could be wrong but...I'd like to not think so.

She's a self-professed 'Wii-ahoilic' she said so herself not two minutes ago while not taking care of an extension cord, something she should have taken care of hours ago. My other sister, the fifteen year old, has had her boyfriend over most of the afternoon and has yet to play *correction she is playing now and creating her very own Mii* it's very boring watching the creation of another's charcter, this is the second one I've seen created today, I'm kinda like Frankenstein in a vauge sort of way.

Now onto the games...Harry Potter, my new favorite, you play as Harry and you get to do a multitude of things. Fly, duel, which can be quite painful if the spell you are trying to cast involves flinging both the remote and the nunchuck at your face, which believe it or not readers ,it does require you to do on occasion, like Levicorpus, and we of special intrests know what that does....and Protego, also require much flinging about. In general spells of charms and jinxes and the like reqiure flinging about of a certain degree. I've played so much HP my left arm is shaking and it hurts to keep it in an upright postion. But my favorite HP activity is that of Potions making, I just love making potions, picking up the little vials, shaking them up and pouring them out, heating up my cauldron and stirring it up, no matter how boring it sounds I promise you it's so much fun I could barely stand to turn it off. But I did, and then came Mario Party 8. I'm not so sure what the point of the game is, but occasionally I did have fun, when I played the odd basketball at least, and it's something I can excel at and I'm proud at myself. Wii Sports, I've had a blast! I took the age thing and I'm the youngest of both my younger sisters! I'm 54 while they are in their late 70's ha! I've played all the sports offered and I kick butt at baseball and tennis, tennis is somewhat understandable considering I played tennis for all of two months in the seventh grade. Baseball....I've never really been into the sport but I may start to be into it later on down the road.

Anyways it's getting late, and I can barely move my right arm from punching the punching bag so much and from baseball, and probably from spell casting and potions, it's a tiring interactive fun way to spend an afternoon and I can pretty much guarantee a good night's rest for me. Night to all. And please gentle readers don't be afraid to post comments on thoughts or anything else, you don't even have to be a member to do so! Lots of love and luck sent your way from mine!

School, road trips and sulky sisters

New Post my faithful readers, though how many readers I've got I've no idea, if I have any....

Anywhoo, I just got back from a road-trip. I wish I could say it was to Texas to see Twi-Con, but alas, it was to a farm about 2 hours from here. Nice drive especially when it's time spent with friends, the only not nice thing about it was the getting stuck in the mud. Now for all of those who know what I'm talking about please agree with me 100%, for those of you who don't...I don't suggest trying this at home for shits and giggles. Now the very spacious farm has a pond at the bottom of a hill, and I don't know about much anywhere else but it was raining for a good part of the day, enough to make the road slick with mud and clay, for future reference...this is *not* I repeat not a good combination for a car travelling uphill, or downhill for any matter. So after we got out of the car and trudged around a good bit we decide to go back to the car and try to make our way past the muddy trench. Not so easy. After spinning the wheels for a good while we decide that it would be smart if two of us try to push the car(which equaled the whole of my right side hurting so bad) while the third does something involving the clutch and gas and neutral, what kind of combo this is I've no clue...long story short it doesn't work and the only thing we've accomplished is getting the tires caked with mud and our shoes and my jeans soaked and dirty(mud splatter, yuck). So we go off on a search for rocks. You'd think there would be rocks at a pond right? It is a pond and with ponds normally come rocks, but no, not this pond. This pond had no rocks to be found around it, so we were pretty much stuck. We try all sorts of different maneuvers and none of them work. We try and call all kinds of different people but no answers. WE decide to try just one last time, this time driving half on the grassy median and half in the woods. I became quite close to a couple of the tree branches as they hit me in the face. Thankfully we made it! And just as we finish our celebratory yells, what happens? The phone rings, I got you there didn't I faithful readers, you thought we got stuck again huh? Nope, just the phone ringing with the person who we tried to call earlier to help get us out of that muddy mess.

After the excursion with the mud we go to see the cows, these are not dairy cows, so it's best not to name them *hint hint* We enter their field and one member of our party decides to try and feed them. Slowly one of the cows from the background slowly gets closer to us, and closer and closer. We get scared, thinking of the Running with the Bulls in Spain, and how that cow looks quite menacing. We know that if we run the cows could charge and squish us, but that thought leaves our heads when not one cow, but three start moving closer, one for each of us. What do we do? We take off running, just hoping that we can make it to the gate before the cows make it to us. Obviously we succeeded, otherwise this post would not be in existence right now. So we make it to the other side of the gate and turn around and catch our breath. What do we see but three cows pretty much right were they were when we ran. It is my firm belief that they mentally communicated with each other and were all 'Hey guys check this out, I bet we can make those chicks run for their lives. It'd be the best thing that happened all year.'
After we got over that little scare two of our group decided to brave the pen again and go back in while I was self-designated picture taker, got some pretty okay one's if I do say so myself.

Putting the majority of the farm visit into a short little blurb: On the farm there is a slave cemetery, you can tell where the bodies went because the earth has settled down, since slaves couldn't afford boxes they were just buried in the ground so once the bodies decomposed....earth settled creating little dips. Well one of the head markers had writing on it, and since we all know most slaves were illiterate putting writing on this one meant that this person was very important to them. It is believed to say 'Annie....last name....and either a 6 or an 8' it's amazing that things like this can be found, untouched by humans, run over by Mother Earth herself, but it's also sad seeing how small some of the graves were and knowing that cruelty human cruelty put most likely many of them there. From there we went on to a storage unit, and then to a run down, but very nice house, not publishing the name out of respect for the owner.

After the farm we stopped at a friend's aunt's house where I met some of her family, they were very nice and I appreciated so much what they did for us. Watched Leatherheads very enjoyable, and finally fell asleep at about 2 am. We woke up around 10-ish, actually we went upstairs around 10-ish we were probably awake for quite some time, skipped on breakfast and were ready to go. We close the door, alarm set and venture to the car where the driver realizes we have a flat tire...much waiting later and a wallet a bit lighter we head out for lunch, it now being about 12:30 or close to that time. We stop at an AMAZING restaurant named Ham's, they serve more than ham( I myself got an Angus burger and cheesy bacon fries) I was so full I couldn't even finish my sand which, that honestly was probably the best restaurant meal I've either had in ages or ever. And we are on our way back home!

Once I got home I was exhausted and not in the mood to put up with sulky little sisters who complain whenever they don't get their way, and for those of you who know my sisters it's not the youngest for once...shocker! I'm babysitting my cousin's son who's not even a year old tomorrow*insert awwws here* and she wants to come along, I have no problem with it, but I told her to talk with the parents first, well she did and she didn't get the answer she was looking for, now she's sulking all around the house, ignoring me and I'm too tired to deal with her shit-attitude so I tell her she can't act this way she's 15 for godssake. What does she do? Ignore me again, and turns on her music. Teenagers, can't live with them, couldn't be anywhere if we weren't one ourselves.

And now onto school, 20-odd days away. I start back the 24th my second year at my school of choice, and I'm excited yet dreading it all at the same time. Excited because I'll get to see my friends again, dreading it because I know the work load will probably try and kick my butt. Hopefully it won't be too dreadful because I'm going to have a birthday party about a month after the semester starts back up... I kinda can't wait for that, really just because I'll be seeing alot of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time, I miss seeing all my friends.

One other quick little blurb to throw in...Craig Horner is SEXY AS HELL. I could eat ice cream off that man's chest. You don't know who he is? Search Craig Horner shirtless, it'll get you interested I guarantee it.

Haha, sorry. Rambles and Harry Potter

So I lied, this isn't as easy as I expected it to be. I think I write as often on here than I do in my actual print journal thing. That's unexpected. So no job, no news to speak of, except HP 6 will be coming out it about a week. FINALLY!! After two years of waiting The Half-Blood Prince will finally be in my viewing area. Thanks WB-NOT! Stupid WB holding out for more money, way to think about the FANS!! Lucky I'm not planning an all out WB STRIKE! I've been dying to see HP far longer than the strike could last. This just in...you can't make home diamonds. The only way to make diamonds is...not even worth it. It's more expensive to go through the whole process, because what comes out of it is worth approximately 25 cents.

So same ol' same ol' EVERYTHING. I'm so bored outta my mind it's like I'm going to go CRAZY!!!!! Soo on that note....I'm outta here.