Apologies and Such

So, I know it's been months since I last posted something and if I thought that anyone read this thing I'd feel sorry, but since no one does....the apology is more for me. And my letting myself down for not keeping the promise I made to myself. Because in the past couple of months BIG things have happened. First of all I got a job, then I lost my job because our store closed. I worked at a Disney Store; and who'd have thought that as soon as 20 odd stores closed in the States Disney would buy back all 300 some stores in Japan. Thanks Disney, thanks.
Another thing is I'm in my final semester at the local community college and I'm graduating in May. That's the good part. The bad part is that because I lost my job I no longer have a way to pay for a four year school. And I may not be the only one in my house who'll be let go from work. My Dad may loose his job too. And if that happens the only bright side is that I'll be getting financial aid. The bad thing is that I'd have to be working full-time to help support the family so no college for me. I know that tons of people out there have it ten times worse than I do, but with that conversation with my Mom last night destroyed my whole life plan. Graduate from community college, transfer to a four year school straight away, go to graduate school then become a psychologist or do something involving history. Then fall in love, get married and after a good amount of time have kids.
But now all I can think about is how because my Dad's always been so overweight, I've lost my childhood. It was stolen from me. I've always had to be mature and help out. Being the oldest I get that I need to help with my two younger sisters, but now that my Dad can't do anything by himself and I mean anything. I have to be a parent. I'm home the most out of anyone in my family, I see my sisters the most. I hardly see my parents anymore because they're always driving to and from work. I know they can't help working an hour away from home, but sometimes I wish that I could know that it's all going to work out in the end, that I know that everything will turn out alright. But I just can't see that happening, I can't play out any scenario in my head that will justify the loss of my youth, or anything like that.
I'd love to say that I don't blame my parents for that, but some blame does lie with them, I don't know how much blame can be placed on their shoulders, I know it can't be all... but I just wonder how my life could be different. Moral of this- it's not good to linger on such thoughts, it breeds anger and dissatisfaction, more of both I couldn't handle.

I can't think of much else to add...other than Happy Belated New Year.
Recently played on my Mp3 player- A Very Potter Musical. I discovered them on YouTube it's AMAZING. I can't even put into words how much I love the StarKid Potter group. But tata for now, maybe I'll get another update before June. ;D